Courage
Subscribe

Highs and lows of the weekend. And by lows we mean Everton.

Men In Blazers

Jan 17
2

Happy MLK Day to all of you. I wish you a meaningful day wherever you are reading this. Everyone has their own favorite King quote. Mine would be “Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see,” a line which, like so many of King’s truths, reads like prophecy in our day and age.

I am not going to lie, this has been a hard weekend. I have always maintained that I watch so much football that the results do not impact me as much as they did when I was a kid. This past 48 hours has belied that. The Everton situ has me in human agony. If you watched the Dallas Cowboys game and saw every memed, shocked, traumatized Cowboys fan in that 4th quarter… I am like all of them combined. Let’s break down the highs and lows of the weekend here.

Remember: Our Will Ferrell TV Special and all of our television shows are archived on the MiB page on Peacock

1. Is KDB the greatest Ginger Athlete of All Time?

All Hail Belgian Scut Farkus. Taking control of the City-Chelsea clash in the 70th minute with a goal that was worthy of any title win. What is truly amazing about the feat was the way KDB shrugged off Kante as if he was a lightweight. This is the 5th goal De Bruyne has spanked against Chelsea, the team that once discarded and humiliated him. Not to mention last season’s Champions League final where he limped off with a fractured eye socket. This goal was some Lannisters send their regards moment. Give KDB the Ballon d’Orange right now.

Do you want a sign of the enormous gulf between City and Chelsea? Pep could not help himself but crow post-game that his squad had allowed just one shot on goal against the Chels in 180 minutes of football… a statistic which is flabbergasting.

2. Coutinho remains a Little Wizard

Manchester United’s “She’s Come Undone” season continues. 2-0 up and cruising, it seemed like RR had secured a crucial three points. Philippe Coutinho, Liverpool Little Magician turned Barcelona folly, trotted on in the 68th minute and combined with local wonder Jacob Ramsey to share a goal and an assist each, living proof of Gandalf’s truth, “A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.” My favorite moment though was when goalkeeper Emi Martinez, whose blunder had handed United the lead, celebrated the equalizer by diving into the Villa crowd. What football is all about.

3. Should his real name be “Josh Allan Saint-Maximin?”

You tell me this goal is not 100% straight out of Buffalo?

4. Everton. I love them so much but they only hate me back

Farwell Rafa. You were doomed from the start. A reckless risk taken by owners who did not even think through how it would work at a Derby when the fanbase fumed and Liverpool’s supporters would be the ones singing Rafa’s name with giddy glee.

Of course we lost to Norwich. It’s what we do. We gave Sheffield United 6 points last season and we are a club that learn nothing. Watching on in shock and agony, I wondered out loud if Everton and I are in an abusive relationship.

After going 2-0 down, an Everton fan, who looked just like me, stormed onto the field and tried to confront Rafa. In that moment, we all knew he was done. Watching his Everton has been like being aboard a ship and being powerless as the captain saws a hole in the stern.

Was it just Rafa’s fault? Far from it, as I will address in a moment. But his 200 day tenure has been that of a donor organ rejected by the host body. I truly believe he never respected the club, and the contempt he felt for them back when he was Liverpool manager was only compounded by the shock that Everton owners were in such dire straits that they misread their fanbase and gave him the job. Benitez came on our show, and when I asked him about why he took the role, he could have talked about the tradition of Everton or the possibility of resurrecting the glory days. Instead he gave a slightly odd answer which essentially boiled down to his wife loves Liverpool and wanted him to stop taking jobs in Italy and China, and so he was delighted to win a role with such a short commute.

Rafa had famously called Everton a small club. His blindspot was that he never appeared to respect Everton, its identity, or fanbase. And it was that contempt which cost him.

The truth is, Benitez, our 9th manager in 8½ years since Moyes left, is just a symptom of a unique problem. Some clubs have owners with infinite money. Other clubs have owners who do not have enough. Everton’s owner Farhad Moshiri has plenty and spent generously. But he has done so frivolously, blowing a fortune on ill-advised transfers, and either ignoring or overriding the directors of football he hires and fires. The board lack a single strategic footballing brain cell: Fire Director of Football Marcel Brands five weeks ago to back Rafa Benitez, then fire Rafa anyway, 6 months into a 3-year contract, having shipped out Lucas Digne, one of our best players, with whom Rafa had fallen out with a week before.

What serious manager or director of football or player would want to sign up to participate in that chaos? Look at the names mentioned…Graham Potter! Why would he leap from an incredibly well-run club to our hot mess when he is linked to Top 6 teams in his future? Jose Mourinho? Hilarious for neutrals, but how can he seriously be expected to destroy something that has already burned itself to the ground? Roberto Martinez is a lovely, kind man, but my lord, but the fact he is bookies’ favorite suggests a board who have run out of ideas and are just rebooting the computer and returning to factory settings. Duncan Ferguson is a wonderful human being and bleeds for the club even more than Pepper Mills, but a Premier League team needs a manager who excels in tactics, man management, data analysis, sports science, and human psychology. Passion alone will not save us. This kind of team talk, though, may be all we need to fend off Aston Villa and Digne next weekend.

Whom do I want to see? 100% the Manager of Aldershot. “Terry’s brought a briefcase in…”

Truth is, until Everton’s board recognize their own reckless unbearable lightness of being and create a proper footballing structure to take advantage of their generous backing, we are doomed to freefall and pray there are 3 worse-run teams than us every season.

5. One last lovely, upbeat moment

Our mate Jack Harrison scored a hattrick for Leeds this weekend. What a story he is. Remember, his Mum Deborah had the confidence to yank him out of Manchester United’s academy aged 14 because she knew the odds of a teenage kid becoming a professional were slim. She moved him to America to get an education, where he played at the Berkshire School in Massachusetts, Wake Forest, and in MLS with NYCFC. On Sunday, when he thrashed his third goal, I thought of Robert Frost’s lines

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

Walk your own path like Jack, readers. To football, poetry, and life truth.

Subscribe for free to Courage
By subscribing, you agree to share your email address with Men In Blazers to receive their original content, including promotions. Unsubscribe at any time. Meta will also use your information subject to the Bulletin Terms and Policies
2

More from Courage
See all

Football's Final Weekend

Some weekend for me. Football’s final weekend of the league season is always a melancholy experience. Each Premier League league season is its own Cornell’s Box to me. A singular and idiosyncratic creation. When that final whistle blows, it becomes consigned to the past, and I have loved this season, as it really made me feel things. Every b...
May 23

The Liverpool Glory to Everton Agony Pipeline. One constant in an ever-shifting universe.

I write with a mix of agony and horror after a football weekend of trauma and challenge. Everton Football Club, the thing I love, is fading like Bing Bong from Inside Out and I am helpless to do anything to stop it. I have come to realize that to support the Blues is to be condemned to having an Alien bust out of your chest like Sigourney Weaver...
May 16

Hail to Spurs. Season of Unpredictable Twists and Turns twists and turns some more.

Was that the greatest weekend of Premier League football of all time or did it just feel like it? GFOP @dujour captured the reality perfectly.
May 9
Comments
Log in with Facebook to comment

2 Comments

  • Brian Puida Mitchell
    Virtually all failures in institutions, corporations or nations stem from poor, uninformed, non-courageous leadership. Everton has that in spades. I honestly cannot see things changing as long as the current owner and Board remain in charge. (Although …
    See more
    • 18w
  • Kenneth Barr
    What is it about Everton FC that, much like Spurs, they continue to flatter to deceiv?
    • 18w
Share quoteSelect how you’d like to share below
Share on Facebook
Share to Twitter
Send in Whatsapp
Share on Linkedin
Privacy  ·  Terms  ·  Cookies
© Meta 2022
Discover fresh voices. Tune into new conversations. Browse all publications